Brother
by lushy
Summary: An inner monologue -- George remembers his brother. SLASH


**Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.******

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**Brother**

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You were always there, and I could always count on you. Without you, everything I've done makes no sense. You completed everything I did. You were everything I was. We were a team. And I guess I always thought you'd be there.

I remember, there was one time you asked me what I thought I'd be doing after we finished Hogwarts. I remember laughing and telling you we'd take the world be storm. We'd make our own successful joke shop, and bring laughter, or at least a little laughter to the world. That we'd make a difference. And I remember your reaction. You looked pained for just a moment, but then, as quickly as it came, it was gone. Replaced by a smile, and you made me look at something you'd finish, making me momentarily forget your expression. 

But it remained with me. And I thought you didn't think we'd make it. That we couldn't achieve our dream, that it would, as many dreams had done before, only result in disappointment. I tried not to let that phase me. I tried to convince myself you were only a little insecure, that is was understandable. That it would pass…

Then we finished school. We still didn't have the plans for the shop. I got angry, I thought you were chickening out. I'd never known you to do that before. We were beaters, beaters have to be tough, you get pummelled if you aren't. But then you came back. 

We began and finished the plans. Made arrangements, and then, suddenly it was done. The one thing we'd been planning on for so long, it finally came through. And it was a success. People loved us, but most importantly, we were happy. Because that's what was important, that were happy. 

It's funny how life gives you something wonderful only to pay it's due with something even more precious. No one ever saw it coming, no one expected something like that to happen. We had been untouched the first time, I guess it was too much to hope we'd be untouched the second time. Voldemort. Because it all comes down to him, doesn't it?

Because of him, so many lives are ruined. Because of him, so much pain rules this world. Because of him, people fear each other, fear their friends, fear their lives, fear their very own family. Because of him, precious lives, lives that take so much time, consideration, effort to put together; lives that mean so much to people, are destroyed in seconds. Just because he can. 

Because he bloody can! He rips apart everything, destroying everything he touches, rendering us unable to fight back, making us look like puppets, controlling, going to the extreme to protect ourselves and our families, only to find out he was too fast. Too clever. 

He doesn't deserve the satisfaction, yet he has it, he controls it, he dominates it. And I hate it. I hate it because there's nothing I can do. I can't go over there and give him a damn Canary Cream, that's not going to kill him! Next to all those lives, it's not worth everything! It's nothing!

You were always the serious one. Oh, not many could tell. But you were. You were the rock, cheesy as it may seem. You were the one who held us together. The one who made us grow. You were the roots, without the roots, a plant can live, at least not for long. 

And then I think back at the time when I thought you didn't think we'd make it; and I see it. You never thought we couldn't make it, you knew _you couldn't. And I don't know which haunts me more, that fact that you thought you wouldn't be able, or that you never told me. Wasn't that the reason I was here? We were best friends, we were brothers, we were… _

And you never had the chance. Never had the chance to live. _Truly live. Enjoy life. You were taken far too fast. When I knew you were gone, I wanted to as well. But you… damn you, you had to make me promise. You had to make me promise so long ago that if something was to happen to you I'd go on. That I had to make people smile. I thought you were joking, and made you promise as well. _

But I never thought it would happen!

Can't you see, I _can't make people laugh, because the only reason I made people laugh was because I had you. __You. You were the reason I laughed. The reason I felt we had to make the world laugh __with us. I can't do it without you. I just can't. And I feel sorry, because I never wanted to let you down. It was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But sometimes, you can't control what you feel. Can't help what drives you on, what makes you live. _

_You made me live. _

And now… your memory makes me live. But I don't know for how long. I don't think that's enough. 

_I'm sorry, Fred._

_I'm sorry._

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end

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**berndt**


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